1. Don't bake sugar free cookies. By the time you "fix" it so it tastes edible, it has twice the sugar (honey, molasses, brown sugar, white sugar, corn syrup) of a normal cookie and still tastes nasty no matter how much cinnamon you put in it.
2. ALWAYS screw the lid to a bottle closed before giving it to a baby.
3. Minnesota has more road construction sites than lakes but it's still the land of 10,000 potholes.
4. Even if you've cleaned a room for an hour, it is still a mess when you have a baby. (I don't care what flylady says!)
5. It is impossible to put a diaper on a baby when she stiffens her legs.
6. Screaming will get you almost anything.
7. Chocolate DOES relieve stress! I haven't been able to eat chocolate since the baby was born and boy am I stressed out!
8. Mosquitoes will eat any kind of blood - no matter what amount of B vitamin horse pills you swallow.
9. Babies never "sleep like a baby."
10. Some people actually DO live in Minnesota for the weather.