Friday, April 22, 2005

Houses, Diets & Dissertations oh my!

I have the most brilliant things to write on here when I'm driving. Of course by the time I get home I have forgotten it all. :)

Our family is on several journeys right now. It's exciting, exhilerating and exhausting. We are in the midst of trying to figure out how to raise a very strong willed and intelligent little girl who desires much touch to feel secure. It's hard to teach her that she can start to be a little self-sufficient because she really wants it another way. So far I haven't seen any signs of psychological damage. :) On NPR yesterday they were talking about how our generation sees children as too fragile and easily damaged. It's probably because so many people around us ARE psychologically challenged (including some of us) and also because of our culture of psychology. (If that makes any sense to you.) I know that's my fear. It's a matter of daily prayer that's for sure.

Then I'm trying to get the whole dissertation thing kicked in gear. Sigh. It's almost like I don't quite know where to start or how to find the time to do it. I need God's grace and help to get it done. I've started and worked on it and still feel like I am starting over every time.

We have our house on the market. It seems like the market is slower this year than in a long time. We know we could sell it faster, but since we now have time (lost the other house) we are letting the price ride a little high to see if we can get a good price. We continue to look at houses and it's so difficult to try to find something that will work for us. I just don't want to move again so I hope to find something that will carry us through many years AND be functional for family and ministry. That's a hard order. For some reason Twin Cities builders like to build boxy houses with several small rooms and no great rooms. We aren't sure why. It's very frustrating.

I've also been pondering some things about my spiritual life. Been really hungry for God and the Word lately. I've been feeling the spiritual urging to make our life a bit more simple, but I can't find the ways to do it. I know that we need more time with God and need His direction to do it. I'm wondering if we aren't supposed to find a house that's not bigger, but more functional with open spaces and downsize our "stuff" to make life a bit easier. It all takes time and I don't know that I have a lot of time to make it happen. God, please help us!

And I started a strict diet a few days ago. It's been tough. I've been dizzy a lot, and so I keep trying to eat a little something here and there to keep me from getting dizzy and lightheaded so I can't think. This diet thing is more stressful than I suspected. But I have GOT to lose this weight. It's just bringing me down in so many ways. I'm trying a mixture of Slim Fast, low fat, limited carbs, etc. I might joing ediets again. It really worked before, but I don't have time for it during the school year. The menu planning and shopping list actually takes longer than I planned. I talked to my doctor about it and got a Weight Watchers lecture. It has always worked for my sister. It has NEVER worked for me. I don't know why. I've tried it at least 6 times. I lose a bit of weight and then it stops. The only diets that have ever worked for me are the ones that LIMIT things severely and include a lot of physical activity. So, I am going to go back to that again. Only with my hip pain still very real, the exercise scares me. But my goal is to get stronger and thinner.

Then there's the new church plant journey. It's an exciting one and probably one of the most exciting one in our lives right now because it means so much to me to watch my husband glow. He seems so HAPPY in this endeavor. He is walking in his purpose and it's amazing to watch. I'm so proud of him.

My Mom is in major transition and I need to get to Washington this summer to help her on that journey from WA to NC. She's never moved so far! And after 30 years in Wenatchee, and all her life on the West Coast, this is going to be a huge adjustment for her. My biggest hope is that she will find her "tribe" and "claim her place at the fire" when she gets there. She needs to feel a sense of purpose and satisfaction with life. I think Jon will help her with that process. It's going to be a good 2 to 3 years before she feels comfy there. She will have Kelly to help. That will mean a lot.

And finally, one of the most consuming that gives me a great deal of satisfaction is the work at NCU. I have AMAZING students. They are always so supportive and helpful to me and the department. We wouldn't be where we are without them. I am so proud to be a part of such an amazing group of people. No matter how frustrating some things get, it's those kids that bring me back. Michael has such a love for them too. Our lives kind of center around NCU, church planting, Deaf people, and family right now. It's a good life. God is good. We are busy and happy. I'm looking for the life lived simply but this life is also a really good one.

Ok... gotta run and get to chapel and then prepare for class tonight and tomorrow. Teaching a weekend class and won't get home until late tonight!

1 comment:

armydave said...

Barbara, If there's one thing God reminds me of again and again when I'm pondering life, it' that life is all about relationships. It's the foundation of the Law and Prophets. It's also the reason you have such a wonderful group of students supporting and encouraging you--you have given of yourself to them. Remember to love your neighbor AS yourself and not more than or less than yourself. This is an important spiritual balance many overlook.