For those of you who missed tonight's show... you might enjoy this re-cap from Dave Barry. Dave Barry cracks me up. If you saw 24, this will make you REALLY laugh. (I edited out some of the words to make this site truly G for general audiences.)
by Dave Barry
At the end of the last episode, Chloe – yes, Chloe -- demonstrated why she should be in charge of the U.S. intelligence community. No, scratch that: Chloe should be in charge of everything. She demonstrated that not only is she a Geek Goddess who can immediately recognize a Blowfish algorithm -– yes, a Blowfish algorithm -- but also that she can, when called upon, armed with nothing but her wits and a machine gun, convert a terrorist into Terrorist McNuggets. We want to see MORE of Chloe. Chloe is our daddy. We want to have Chloe's baby.
But the news is not all good. Audrey, who is always very upset about some damn thing or another, is currently very upset at Jack, because of his habit of torturing pretty much everybody he comes into contact with, including toll-booth attendants. Also Jack has displayed a Wile-E.-Coyote-ish tendency to never quite be able to catch the Evil Terrorist Genius Home Depot Shopper Marwan, who got away again last week. If you listened closely you could actually hear Marwan say "Meep! Meep!"
And let us not forget that the acting president of the United States is a man so severely testosterone-impaired that he makes Barry Manilow look like Vin Diesel. Currently the person really acting as president – the acting acting president – is President AllState Insurance, who obviously can't devote his full attention to the crisis, because he's also appearing in commercials.
Speaking of which, there has been no IPEX brassiere commercial for three weeks now. In other bad news, the terrorists have taken a nuclear missile to Iowa, where it poses an extreme and immediate threat to maybe 14 people and an estimated 78 million pigs. We have no word yet on whether Dodge is still holding its Spring Sales Event. At this point, all we can do is pray.
Update: Just once, I'd like to see the nanny on "Nanny 911" go out to the garage and slug down a fifth of bourbon.
Update: They stole an "S" series warhead! Those (bleep)! Those are BAD warheads.
Update: Chloe said, "MEN4XP." She is SO sexy!
Update: Audrey wants to go with Paul to Massachussetts.
Update: Blah blah blah. IS NOBODY GOING TO SHOOT ANYBODY IN THIS EPISODE?
Update: Jack is going to take Lee into custody. We feel sorry for Lee.
Update: The acting acting president changed into a turtleneck for the AllState commercial.
Update: The Chinese consulate dude does not want to give up Lee. He says the U.S. needs to go through channels. Hahahahahahahaha.
Update: The woman Tony lives with called in to be a subplot.
Update: Tony doesn't love her.
Update: Chloe and Edgar, sitting in a tree.
Update: JACK IS GOING IN.
Update: THEY'RE SUITING UP!
Update: They're overlaying the infrared on the schematic.
Update: Jack is wearing a ski mask, in case it's cold in the consulate.
Update: Shooting! China is [MAD].
Update: The Chinese shot their own guy. Now Jack has to treat the wound, so the guy can get well, so Jack can shoot him to make him talk.
Update: Chevy is having a sale, but they didn't say whether it's a Sales Event.
Update: Jack has elected NOT to use force? What the HELL?
Update: WUH-oh. Jack may be in Big Trouble.
Update: There could be Long-Range Repercussions.
Update: I miss Marwan.
Update: Jack pulled a gun on the doctor! That's our Jack.
Update: I'm sure one day Jack and Audrey will look back on this little spat and laugh.
Update: This is a real feel-good episode.
Bottom Line: Basically nothing happened this week. The good news: Next week, we could be at war with China.